I'm really into asian looking animals
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
