guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
