We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How's work?
Spinning.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
