508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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