I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
