Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
