his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dick very happy bro
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
