maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
