Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
