Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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