lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
