I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
