Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
try to milk me bitch
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