i don't like sucking hair
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
