I must be too annoying 4 u.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
