am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
