is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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