Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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