You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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