my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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