I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
