There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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