she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
