i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
