Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
