i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
