My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The uberlube is also flammable
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
