Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
