1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just want to make out with him forever
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
