She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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