No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
