Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
