you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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