so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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