I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
