Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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