I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
