It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Green mimosas i think yes
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
