I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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