Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
