We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've blown a few things in my day
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
