The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
