I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
