I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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