Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
