I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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