wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize