We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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