He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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