oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
