so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
