return my video game
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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