Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
