she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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