it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
