DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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