What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
