I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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