It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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