my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
